Codependency
The original concept of codependency was designed to acknowledge the behavior and responses people develop as a result of living with an alcoholic or substance abuser. However, over the years, codependency has developed into a definition which best describes a dysfunctional pattern of living and problem solving developed during childhood by family rules.

One definition of codependency is : a set of “maladaptive”, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing great emotional pain and stress.

As adults, codependent people have a much greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. The codependent person tries to provide and control everything within the relationship without addressing their own needs or desires, setting themselves up for continued unfulfillment.

Even when a codependent person meets someone with healthy boundaries, the codependent person still operates in their own way, they are not likely to get too involved with people who have healthy boundaries. 

Family Difficulties
What is the most difficult for the family, is the terrible worries that come with a loved one’s alcohol or drug use, or the major uncertainties that go with that person’s recovery.

For so many years, the family has adjusted to the presence of addiction in their lives and are more than often scared, confused and at a loss in how to cope with the sudden loss of that addiction.

Sharon Blacklidge has been addressing these dynamics to help family members replace unhealthy ways of relating to their addict by stressing the changes needed in the family dynamics to a more positive way of relating to the addict to aid in the addict’s lasting recovery.

It is widely believed that we become codependent through families with rules that hinder development to some degree. These rules have been developed in response to some problem such as mental illness, drug abuse, eating disorder, alcoholism, or some other secret or problem.

Certain rules that are set-up within families that may cause codependency are:

·        Be Perfect, be strong.

·        Don’t rock the boat.

·        Keep your problems to yourself.

·        Its all in your mind. Its your imagination.

·        Keep your feelings to yourself, they should not be expressed.

·        Make us proud of you.

·        Don’t be so selfish.

Codependency Counseling
The original concept of codependency was designed to acknowledge the behavior and responses people develop as a result of living with an alcoholic or substance abuser. However, over the years, codependency has developed into a definition which best describes a dysfunctional pattern of living and problem solving developed during childhood by family rules.

One definition of codependency is : a set of “maladaptive”, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing great emotional pain and stress.

As adults, codependent people have a much greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. The codependent person tries to provide and control everything within the relationship without addressing their own needs or desires, setting themselves up for continued unfulfillment.

Even when a codependent person meets someone with healthy boundaries, the codependent person still operates in their own way, they are not likely to get too involved with people who have healthy boundaries.